Today was the first morning in a while that I had my daughter on my own. My husband has been working remotely, on and off, throughout April and May (thank you, New Jersey & flexible family leave policies), and so I have had a lighter mommying load than usual.
This morning, of course, I wanted to resume my walks with the baby to get back to our duos-only schedule. It was a cool 70 degrees out with low humidity, the breeze swaying the trees and casting that glorious summertime shade, perfect conditions for a walk. Or so I thought.
Part way through this walk, I realized we had lost Dusty, her bunny (one of many). Dusty is a TY Beanie-Babies reimagining of what something cute might look like. It’s also a toy my dad got her for Easter, and it happens to be one of her “snuggie buddies” (if you know, you know).1
My daughter wasn’t really bothered that Dusty was gone, but also, I’m not sure the gravity of the loss had hit her yet.
I wrote a pair of poems to commemorate this morning’s events. Enjoy your short work week, everyone!
"Dusty: Lost & Found" Lost my gut sinks at the realization: you're gone your dumb wide eyes and the joy they bring my heart quickens its pace and my eyes go wild, scanning: left right left right left behind I retrace my steps in the climbing summer sun but you are lost and so is my peace this beautiful mommy morning
Found
almost home now
and no sign of you for blocks
street after street
staring at my feet
near-kicking myself
in regret
and yet
we pass another baby
and my stomach flips
my heart in my throat
a bunny in their hands?
no
false alarm
I step to the side
with a "take care"
and stare off
ahead
wait
what's that
I could swear
it's a hare
a rabbit-eared revelation
I quicken my pace
blood pumping in my face
and I meet your gaze:
your dumb wide eyes
and I'm flooded with relief
you're found
and I've found
one more moment
of peace
this beautiful mommy morning
Endnotes
I tried to type this as the internet’s acronym “IYKYK” but I am so old and out of touch that I truly just kept typing “IF IFIF”
Your poems are beautiful. I could feel what you were feeling.
I'm so glad this saga had a happy ending!!! I was ready to go on Ebay.